Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to a Love that Lasts.” Since the book’s inception in 1995, Dr. Chapman has helped couples all over the world through a simple method regarding loving our partner in a way that connects to them. If you have not read this book or taken the quizzes to learn your love language, check out the book here: The 5 Love Languages.
The 5 Love Languages Trailer, Dr. Gary Chapman.
Below are the 5 Love Languages and tips to implement them:
Words of Affirmation
Those whose primary love language is words of affirmation value verbal praise and recognition. They respond to words in a way that connects deeply to their soul. For them, verbal appreciation is like water to a dry desert.
Tips to connect through this love language: Compliments, expressing appreciation, recognizing your partner’s talents and gifts, offering sentiments of encouragement, writing notes and communicating their importance to you.
Acts of Service
Actions are what make this love language exist. If acts of service is a primary love language for your spouse, then they value the time that you invest in helping. Actions speak louder than words for anyone who connects with this love language. Demonstrating love through helping is a sure way to practice loving effectively.
Tips to connect through this love language: Helping with household tasks, doing maintenance on your partner’s vehicle, assisting with yard work, making special meals, spring cleaning and completing home projects.
Giving gifts has forever been a way that love is expressed. Even animals bring “gifts” to their owners (ex: that mouse on the doorstep is simply to please you!). With a primary language of receiving gifts, partners feel deeply loved and appreciated through being thought of. Gifts do not always need to be expensive or extravagant, they can be simple and just a way of saying, “I was thinking of you.”
Tips to connect through this love language: Remembering birthdays and anniversaries, homemade cards, bouquets of flowers, things connected to what your partner enjoys such as books, wine, or new tools.
Your undivided attention and time is most important to those who primarily feel love through quality time. Quality timers value attentiveness and responsiveness. They enjoy spending time with you, having reciprocity and making memories together. Time is gold when it comes to this breed.
Tips to connect through this love language: Turning off the television when conversing, experiencing new things together, getting a babysitter and having an evening alone, working out together, practicing active listening and running errands together.
Touch is a powerful method to experiencing a physical connection with another. If your partner’s primary love language is physical touch, they feed off of touch in different ways. Physical touch encompasses broad forms of touch and it is not subjected to simply sexual interactions. Emotional needs can often be acknowledged through touch.
Tips to connect through this love language: Giving hugs, patting your partner’s leg in the car, holding hands, kissing throughout the day, sitting close and cuddling.
For more on healthy relationships, check out 31 Empathetic Statements that Show You Care.