Social Media = Negative Self-Esteem
About 7 months ago, I opened up a business Instagram account and started using it to share inspirational quotes, latest occurrences with Pax Family Counseling and little tips to implement for more fufilling relationships.
To be honest, I had never really spent time exploring the Instagram world outside of my own page. I mean sure, I have had a few clicks here and there, but I never delve into the “depths” of Instagram…until fairly recently.
It wasn’t until I noticed a new person had “followed” me, so out of curiosity I clicked on their page. This simple click turned into clicking on another person’s page, then another, and another…before you know it 45 minutes had past and I felt horrible.
Now I felt horrible because of two things.
- I wasted a solid 45 minutes that I could have spent on meaningful and important tasks.
- I felt horrible because my comparison barometer went to a whole other level.
While on this 45 minute social media spree, I stumbled upon people who only cook organic food, exercise fanatics who appeared to be living incredible lives, a mom with a perfect body three weeks postpartum, a housewife’s beautiful home décor that looked like a magazine, couples who had the “perfect marriage”…it never ended!
And with technology, it never will end.
Compared to now, “Keeping Up With The Joneses” use to be relatively tame. There was comparison yes, and envy, yes. But it was limited to who you knew. Now thanks to social media and the internet, we live in a world where we have unlimited access to comparing ourselves to everyone else’s frosted up lives. It is very harmful and drastically hinders our self-esteem.
While wallowing in feelings of self-doubt, I was overcome with sadness. I thought of other women, men, children, daughters, sons, and teenagers who have
experienced these feelings. It is no wonder that numerous studies have demonstrated how anxiety and depression are positively correlated with heightened social media use. Social media use keeps us restless, bothered and unsatisfied. We can never keep up.
It is impossible.
Theodore Roosevelt wrote a book titled, Comparison is the Thief of Joy. That very title alone is extremely accurate. The more we get sucked into comparing ourselves with others, the more our self-esteem plummets. In order to maintain a healthy level of joy in our lives we need to have alternatives to comparison.
Luckily, there are things we can do.
After this event I became inspired to draft up a list of healthy alternatives to comparison. We cannot continue comparing our raw footage to the highlight reel of others on social media. According to studies completed at the University of Chicago, engaging in social media is more addictive than smoking cigarettes! The best option to avoid getting consumed in comparison is of course to limit social media use, but even that is sometimes not enough.
Below is a list of healthy alternatives to keep you from mindlessly scrolling through social media:
These alternatives will boost your self-esteem and limit your comparison activities.
-Write a gratitude list, repeat weekly
-Spend time with real people who make you feel better
-Spend time outdoors
-Volunteer at a food bank or with a helping service
-Find hope in your religious and/or spiritual practices
-Practice yoga, stretching, and/or mindful breathing
-Create personal goals rather than comparative goal
-Get creative and make something new
-Start a new business venture
-Practice Danish hygge
-Organize a room in your home
-Work to admire instead of practicing envy
-Journal about your feelings
-Go to places that make you feel good
-Limit technology use in your life
-If you are a business owner, keep track of your positive reviews and visit them often
-Exercise, it will always make you feel better
-Read a book or listen to an audio book
-Plan for a new experience, (Ex: cooking class, festival or pottery course)
-Take care of yourself by eating well
-Remember that perfection is an illusion
-Plant, bake, knit, draw, paint, or build
-Work to stop a bad habit
-Write a story
-Pray and/or meditate
-Take a class at a local community center
-Pick up a new hobby
Remember, we will never be able to keep up with the Joneses, but we can choose healthier options that limit comparison and ultimately help us maintain our joy.
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